women that wear men’s cologne are hotter than god
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My brain has a tiny Thanos inside who snaps his fingers and erases half my memories at any given moment
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
“a career” “financial security” “a sex life” “tuition for grad school” “alcohol” “a nap” “socks would be nice”
so like okay,
I don’t know why I’ve been obsessively thinking about the concept of “gaydar”
but I have.
Actually no it’s because a straight family member used the term like
“oh I have really great gaydar”
and it made me feel really gross
and it took me like a full hour to realize why.
When heterosexual people say that,
it feels like they’re bragging about their ability to clock us, you know?
like a straight person is telling me that they can spot us queers at 50 paces
and i’m immediately going to be uncomfortable with that,
whereas when other queer folks talk about being able to spot each other
it’s a tool for survival.
Like here’s the thing right?
being able to tell is important sometimes.
Here’s an example:
A couple summers ago I was in a very very small town in Nova Scotia, Canada
(like 6 buildings small)
and I met a woman in the library who was probably a little older than my actual mother.
She was there most days using the wifi
because she lived across the street in an apartment without internet.
We sat at the same table a few times and spoke briefly about life in passing
and after a few of these not-talking-about-gay-stuff convos I was pretty sure she was a part of the lgbtq community
and I slipped in a casual pronoun re: an ex
and she just looked at me,
stopped completely
and said “oh thank fuck, I thought so.”
and instantly started talking about her girlfriend,
it was like this huge wave of relief washed over both of us
because we were in a small rural town and both hovering in this really queer space and unable to talk about it.
Anyway she was really rad and took me to the closest big town to buy me a tim hortons coffee
because she found it reprehensible that I had been in canada for more than 3 weeks already and hadn’t ever had it.
Almost instantly it was like
“oh okay we have this thing in common that other people may not be cool with
but we can actually exist and not hide shit without the fear of violence or anger”
but when it’s a straight person
they’re pretty much just letting you know that they can spot the fact that you seem “abnormal” to them
like great
thanks for letting me know.
[spaces added for accessibility]
We’re identifying brethren while they’re identifying outsiders. It’s that simple.
anyone else have the constant urge to say gay rights in response to everything
cookie dough: [turns out well]
me: wow…………gay rights
ive been procrastinating writing a post abt adhd for days but here we go
i don’t see people speak about this often, but i’m pretty sure this isn’t just my own experience; and i also think that adhd is also underestimated due to this problem rarely being articulated. i’m talking about how adhd doesn’t just affect your day-to-day routine, it also affects your sense of self, your core. to be more exact, it affects your routine and through this it affects your reality; well; your perception of reality - and then yes, your perception of your own self. i’ll explain how:
- forgetfulness + distractions literally steal the time of your life away from you. as in, one can be doing something and then get distracted by something for hours- whoops, there goes your day. the day that you wanted to spend on other things. it’s deconstruction of consciousness, this helpless feeling of not being in control of your time and your own activities. to put it simply - your time, your plans and actions start to feel like they don’t belong to you. impulsivity adds up to it.
- another thing is, i actually wanted to add something else to the first point, but i forgot instantly; and then i remembered and- forgot again. so this thing is basically a part of point 1 but it deserves its own paragraph. losing your thoughts that can sometimes be actually very important to you often feels like you’re losing parts of yourself.
- then there’s also the consequences of distracting and forgetting - bad, bad planning & organisation! chunks of daily life floating around freely; assignments failed, meetings skipped, projects unfinished. you always have something unfinished and incomplete to the point where you feel like you’re incomplete. plus you have to do everything faster/in the last moment - anyway, this erratic lifestyle doesn’t let you feel the natural flow of your life, which, again, causes not feeling yourself enough.
- intense emotions coupled with mood swings; oh, boy, this speaks for itself? sometimes it feels like your personality/emotional structure is changing wildly with every breakdown/lashing out/sudden burst of glee etc.
- also uhhhh the hyperfixations? we get wholly consumed by them, and in between them there’s a weird feeling of being lost, purposeless, lacking something. there was a good joke post abt this that i can’t find rn
- rsd a.k.a high sensitivity to rejection which often makes people with adhd try more desperately to fit in, and sometimes it comes to adopting other people’s favourite things or traits to avoid rejection. this is just straight up fracturing your genuine integrity, come on
- stimming/fidgeting among people and in public places!……… a.k.a. the freaking lack of it. i don’t need to explain how a necessary method of channeling restless energy/calming oneself down & at times, communicating one’s feelings being taken away from someone can affect them
anyway im sure there’s much more to it than i forgot to mention but what i mean is:
- dear folks with adhd, it’s okay if you experience this. it’s not your fault as a human being, it’s not a personality flaw; you’re already yourself, you’re you, you’re whole. also, we should all try to cultivate methods of dealing with these feelings, like getting rid of unfinished stuff that you’re not going to finish soon, or setting more reminders and things to help you focus, or encouraging yourself to be genuinely yourself around people, etc etc etc
- @everyone stop underestimating how serious the impact that adhd has on people’s lives is
i’m not saying it’s all bad, of course! there are good and awesome things to having adhd. and of course it’s not just some illness one needs to cure - it’s a part of us that we learn to live and thrive with. but nevertheless i think it’s important to show people that adhd is waaaay more than just being forgetful or very energetic sometimes
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